I’m at a crossroads in my life. God is showing me I am not living fully alive. I’m not using my gifts and talents to their full potential. I know this is true. I see it and feel it every day. So why am I not living fully? I don’t know what to do? I don’t know how to change? I don’t have time to figure it out. I am really just afraid. I just use excuses to cover up the fear. Now I have a choice to make at this crossroad. So what am I going to do about it? I’m going to step out and be obedient and I’m going to have you hold me accountable.
One of the lies God has recently shown me is that I believe I have to have it all together to lead and teach (which is what I feel He’s calling me to do). He has shown me I am really afraid of being a hypocrite. I don’t ever want to tell someone to do something I’m not doing myself. Which is a very important principle in leadership. But for me it goes beyond doing, it’s doing everything I teach perfectly. We all know there is NO such thing as perfect. So the fear of not doing it perfectly becomes the perfect set up to stay STUCK, to do NOTHING.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have made a lot of progress in the last year, but He’s challenging me to step up and move on up to the next level. So, that’s what I’m doing by putting all this in writing. I can’t hide or deny or ignore anymore. I am moving! Even if it’s two steps forward and one step back, I’m moving! Even though I don’t have it all together I’m moving. Even though I judge every grammatical error I make or think people will think I’m crazy if I share that, I’m moving. So all this to say I will be much more consistent in my life lessons/ spiritual posts starting today! I hope you’ll join me.